Caitlin's Naming Snob Corner, Volume 1

When it comes to naming, I tell people there are no bad naming styles—just what's right or wrong for the thing we're naming. But if I'm honest with myself, I'm lying.

I hate snobbery

Mostly because I don't want it turned back on me. (I'm very unfashionable, with plans to stay that way. And while I like art, I’m way more comfortable talking about protein powder, making toilet jokes, and beating people up.)

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P.S. If you missed the announcement, SELF-GUIDED NAMING CLASSES ARE HERE! Just as packed with practical information as the live classes, they give you access to everything you need to name confidently—on your own schedule, at your own pace, and in your own time zone.

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Yet…I’m about to do some naming snobbery

I’m coming to terms with my distaste for many naming styles. Ones I never ever introduce into client conversations. And the rare cases they’re brought up anyway? I find a way to gently shift us in a new direction.

Is this moral? Ethical? Good or bad client counseling? Am I simply being too snobby? All I know is that my tummy would hurt if I had to defend these types of names. And I'm so so so sorry if I offend any of my incredible fellow namers who may have developed these:

NAMES WHERE THE REAL PRONUNCIATION IS *A LITTLE SECRET*

No one likes to be embarrassed. No one likes to get hit with an "ACTUALLY, it's pronounced…" when they’re trying to get through a story about buying a pair of pants.

But some names do that, for no reason.

You're a DTC coffee creamer company, not The Brotherhood of Death. 

Names like:

• SSENSE, meant to be pronounced “Essence” (thank you Nancy Friedman, for bringing this one to my attention)

• SALTT, meant to be pronounced “Salty”

My snobbery doesn’t include names whose pronunciation is clear once you know its language of origin. (I love Loewe.) I mean contrived, overly clever constructs that require constant reinforcement of what you're "meant" to do.

DISEMVOWELED NAMES

I've made peace with some. Grindr. Flickr. Tumblr. They’ve transcended their construct and they’re just names to me now. But…

• mnml? (You’re so minimal that you did away with vowels. We get it, we get it, very good.)

• ABRDN?? (Are you telling me no one objected to this name for a financial services company, noting that it could easily be read as “a burden”? Not once?)

• RTFKT??? (My first genuine guess when I saw this name was “Art Fucked,” which I was kind of into, but then I learned it’s mean to be “Artifact”…)

What are we doing here, folks? Leave in a vowel or two so we can at get ourselves in the vicinity of what you're trying to say. 

BABYTALK NAMES FOR NON-BABY BRANDS

You want me, an adult with a mortgage, to watch TUBI? I feel sick.

Happy naming!

Caitlin

Want more naming resources?

Take an upcoming Naming for Everyone live small-group class, or check out our new self-guided series.

Download free booklets from the Truth in Branding series on naming and trademarks